A while ago I was so infuriated over a personal situation that I took to Facebook to voice my grievance over the situation. For those who don't know, I have a blended household, meaning I have two daughters from a previous marriage and my husband has two sons from a previous marriage (just two short of a Brady Bunch, for those who can remember the show).
Well his ex also has two more children by another relationship. Are you confused yet?
Well around the holidays my husband received a text from his ex requesting that he get the boys this past Christmas due to the fact that she didn't have money or the resources to give them a Christmas this year. My husband, a man who loves any additional time he can get with his sons, immediately purchased the plane tickets for them to come visit for the holiday. Meanwhile, I again questioned why didn't she just give him custody of the boys already, a battle that we have been trying to win for the last 5 years, hence this is not the first time she has found herself down and out.
Which brings me to our current topic of discussion.
Why is it that women would rather let pride, money, jealousy, and a host of other reasons become more important than insuring their children best interests are taken care of regardless of what parent is able to provide that assurance. Yes, I know this is not a new discussion amongst fathers and mothers whom have had children from a failed relationship. We have many children who because of the tradition of keeping the children with their mothers are not necessarily with the parent who can best provide for them.
Why aren't children's best interest always put first in circumstances like this? Why is the assumption always that the mother is the one who can best provide for the children?
In this situation you have a father who is able to provide for his children both emotionally and financially whereas on the other hand you have a mother whom who can't. Unless I am missing something here is it the parents whom bare the responsibility of insuring that their children's needs are met and if for whatever reason they can't, doesn't the courts now bare that obligation? What happens when the courts and the parents have failed in their responsibilities?
Many women let jealousy over an ex's new relationship or marriage cause them to sacrifice the happiness of their children. One women wrote It was as though she had gone to sleep and woken up in a different life her ex-husbands new wife had become mother to her children. Instead of facing her own insecurities she chose to take on the role of the angry baby momma. Instead of embracing the fact that she still had her child's father in their life she chose to wallow in the fact that she no longer had a husband in hers.
When will it stop?